TOW #7- What Family Really Means

Frank Bruni is an op-ed columnist for The New York Times and was once a staff writer for The Times Magazine. He reflects on diverse topics such as politics, education, violence, gay rights, and his personal life as a gay man. In his essay, “What Family Really Means,” Bruni responds to the Synod of Bishops on the Family, which is a meeting where bishops of the Roman Catholic Church reconsider their limitations on family within their community. This includes welcoming unmarried couples, allowing divorce and remarried couples, or accepting children of same sex couples into their church. Bruni directs his attention to religious families who may fall on the conservative side, playing to their beliefs in order to make his point. Several times, he uses statistics in order to play towards the catholic perspective, using poll statistics that state “… while respondents clearly viewed a family headed by a father and a mother who are married to each other as the ideal, most of them did not view it as the only acceptable situation. More than 80 percent were O.K. with divorced parents, single parents or unmarried parents living together. More than 65 percent were O.K. with gay or lesbian parents,” (para 16). With this one statistic, he eliminates most arguments that Catholics may have depending on the limitations on marriage. He expresses that if a majority are okay with expanding their beliefs, the Roman Catholic Church should consider doing so as well. Bruni also uses an anecdote in order to make his argument. However, in order to follow his belief, his anecdote does not focus on the Catholic religion but instead on what a family is as an entirety. He speaks of his friend Elli, who helps boys in Zimbabwe take on American education and helps guide them through their lives as developing adults. Though she is not related to them by blood or law, they made a commitment to each other. The boys rely on Elli and give her a relationship while she in return cares for them and keeps them as safe as she could. Though they are not related by blood, Bruni looks at them as a family. Later, he also brings up the AIDS epidemic that swept the gay community in the 1950s.  Bruni says, “I saw this happen time and again in the 1980s and early 1990s, when AIDS ravaged gay America and many sufferers found themselves abandoned by relatives, whose religions prodded them toward judgment instead of compassion. Friends filled that gap, rushing in as saviors, stepping up as providers, signing on as protectors. Where families were absent, families were born,” (para 20). Once again, he advocates the idea that family is not just ties at birth. He says that a family is any group that can traverse life better as a community than the individual can do on their own. In the end, he is using these references and logos in order to appeal to the Catholic community and encourage them to broaden their perspective on the idea of family. He believes that they focus too much on blood and chromosomes, when the real importance should rely on commitments and strengths. Personally, I believe that Bruni did a brilliant job with his piece. However, I fear that I may have a bias when reading this. I believe and agree with everything that Bruni is saying in his essay, but looking at the information that he puts on the table, someone who is looking from the Catholic perspective might be encouraged to agree. Overall, his thesis was clear and all of his points were well addressed in order to appease his audience.