How It Feels To Be Colored Me by Zora Neale Hurston

Zora Neale Hurston is a writer of twentieth century African-American literature. She was a civil-rights activist and spent her life collecting folklore from the South, the Caribbean, and Latin America. She is looked up to among many other famous authors during the Harlem Renaissance. In her essay, How It Feels To Be Colored Me, she describes exactly what the title entails. She explains that before, when she lived in a town made up of only colored people, she didn't feel like she was colored. However, it was when she left to go to school at thirteen years old that those feelings changed. Surrounded by a primarily white community, she described that it felt a bit different. However, unlike how I expected, she didn't begin to speak of racism and hatred that was thrown towards her. Instead, she simply describes that everybody seemed to expect her to feel more colored than she did. She explained sometimes she didn't feel colored, and sometimes she did, but most of the time, she simply felt like herself. Hurston goes on to describe to her audience, who, I expect, are those who are white, that her race doesn't define her. She says "The terrible struggle that made me an American out of a potential slave said 'On the line!' The Reconstruction said 'Get set!'; and the generation before said 'Go!' I am off to a flying start and I must not halt in the stretch to look behind and weep," (Atwan 115). Later, she describes a scene where she is dancing to music of her cultural descent, enjoying every minute of it. When she looks to her white friend and sees that he isn't enjoying the music as passionately as she is, she realizes that his culture is far away from hers; it is elsewhere, on another continent. However, this doesn't bother her. She simply says that she is like a brown bag among white bags, but if you dump it out and look inside, every bag is just as different as the other. Hurston lured the unknowing audience in with the idea that this would be a story where she was laughed at, where people pointed fingers and called her names just because her skin was dark. We were expecting a story in which she would feel disgraced that she was colored. Instead, she says "'Sometimes I feel discriminated against... it merely astonishes me. How can anyone deny themselves to the pleasure of my company! It's beyond me," (Atwan 117). As a girl of half-African-American decent, this essay made me feel the opposite of what I was ready to feel. I was prepared to feel sorrow, apologetic, and disgust at how my people were treated in my history. However, now I feel enlightened, encouraged, and willing to share this essay so others of my skin color can feel just the same. As for those who may not share the cultural past, Hurston raises a glass to them and says 'Being colored does not mean that you're damaged or broken, it just means that there's something a little different in how we once were.'

Moving On: You still hold onto what you once where, but are becoming something new

Artist: Peter Jansen

They All Just Went Away by Joyce Carol Oates

Joyce Carol Oates is an American author who has published over forty books in her time as a writer. She, as described in her memoir, was born in New York. There, she would spend days exploring abandoned homes that had yet to be rebuilt or were taken away by nature. The way Oates write is almost haunting (best read listening to dark piano music, I find), and leaves the reader in almost a sense of wariness, waiting for the actual horror to start. Of course, it does come, just not in the way that the reader would expect. After discussing her adventures in abandoned houses, where once-valuable items scattered the floor and windows were smashed by vandals, she goes on to describe a family, the Weidels, who lived in a house just around the street from her. She foreshadows the darkness of the story with the fact that her father would not allow the Wiedel family to visit (not including the puppy that they had). Rumors had spread of all types of abuse within that house, only subtly hinted for our author, who was quite young at the time. Things got worse: There were bruises on Mrs. Wiedel, the family dog was shot by Mr. Wiedel, the children had occasional mental outbursts. It all built up until the house burned to a crisp by Mr. Wiedel. He was arrested, the family was split into foster homes, and they weren't heard of again. At least, not until Ruth, the eldest of the two daughters, and Oates reunited in High School. When Oates described her, she says "There was a tacit understanding that 'something had happened' to Ruth Weidel, and her teachers treated her guardedly," (Atwan 561). Despite this, Joyce was still curious about what was going on in Ruth's mind. After befriending her, she asks questions, one of the most prominent being why the family never returned to the home that could possibly be rebuilt, to which Ruth responds "They all just went away," (562). Even after being invited to see it once more, Ruth refuses, though she seems that she wants to. After pondering, I believe that I can see exactly why. It seems that Oates is trying to tell us that the reason houses are abandoned isn't simply because someone got up and left. If a house is abandoned, something seriously bad must have happened there. It is something that people refuse to recognize, refuse to touch, even if they were a part of it. Ruth going back to an old home would be like being forced to look back on memories that one never wanted to relive. Her lasts words are "I guess I better not," despite seeming to want to so badly. She wants to go and see her history, but who would want to look back and seeing where your life was breaking into tiny pieces? The essay, I find, is a wake up call; Every abandoned house we see has a cruel and dark history that can only be represented in the form of decay.

Hiding from Memory: Easier Said Than Done

Source: http://blueribbonproject.org/life-skills/relationships/22-relationships/165-domestic-violence-the-fact-behind-the-myths.html

The Solace of Open Spaces by Gretel Ehrlich

Gretel Ehrlich is an author, poet, traveler, and essayist. She was born in California and moved to Wyoming in her later years. In Ehrlich's essay, The Solace of Open Spaces, she describes what it is like to live in the state of Wyoming. In every description that she provides, it seems that she always describes how vast the land is and how little actually covers it. She simply shares some of the experiences she has there, and describes it in a way that makes the reader feel like they are on a barren, alien planet. By the end of the essay, I will admit, I was very confused. She ends her essay, after talking so much about the land itself, speaking of outer space and how she believed that it could heal what was "divided and burdensome in us," (Atwan 476). I sat, brows furrowed, rereading the ending over and over; How exactly did this relate to the essay? It was only when I reread the title that I came to my senses. The space that she was speaking of, I recognized, was not simply outer space, but the space of the world that she had lived in for so long. Wyoming was filled with nothing but space, nearly barren to human eyes (or at least, that's how she describes it). I hadn't picked up on it before, but rereading the essay she compares the land to outer space several times, one significant statement being "Canyons curve down like galaxies to meet the oncoming rush of flat land," (Atwan 68). Ehrlich says that, originally, she hadn't planned to stay. Instead, she was coming here to 'lose herself' in the emptiness. However, what happened was the completely opposite. She says that the rawness and numbness inside of her had faded away; the country was a clean slate for her. She complains often that those who pass through don't recognize what is actually valuable in Wyoming in the beginning of the essay. We, as readers, are left to wonder, what? She is basically saying 'there's nothing in Wyoming. Nothing.' Then what are we missing, we may ask? I find that Erlich works backwards in answering that question. She gives us the curiosity and confusion at the beginning of the essay, forcing us to think exactly what passersby are thinking. She feeds the confusion more and more, making us doubtful of what she offers to us. Finally, when she makes her point, she doesn't slam it in our faces. She gives us a metaphor, instead, and makes us make the connection of the metaphor to the story. Ehrlich's ability to provide us with such an artfully written finale made me respect her work, even if at the beginning I doubted it. I'd be interesting in reading more of her work in the future and seeing what else she has to offer.

Alone: Finding The Light Among Nothing

Francesco Romoli